I’ve always crazed stability, which could seem comical when looking over my past. I changed travel soccer teams approximately every year, transferred to three different colleges, and ran across America with a group of people I had never met and we didn’t stay anywhere longer than two days. My family and friends would always comment on how hectic my life seemed and how they simply couldn’t keep up with my ever-evolving life.
Even though everything seems to be going my way, I feel confused. I have stable but it doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel fulfilling.
I’m starting to question the definition of stable and comfort zones. After examining my past decisions, I think my comfort zone is in being the new girl. I’ve never been afraid of being new or learning new things. My stable wasn’t the traditional stable. My stable was constant growth, constant movement.
As far as goals, my goal has always been to be the best I could be at whatever I was doing. When you read that it sounds almost like a goal but it’s not. There’s no method of measurement or time limit. Maybe I should call it my philosophy instead of a goal. No matter the title, I feel that the lack of actual goal setting has impacted my ability to decide what my goals are or should be.
I’m a new person now that I have real choices. I need to learn to let go of my attachments and realize that mentally letting go isn’t the same as leaving. My love will still be there cheering for me whether I’m sitting next to him or on my own doing something amazing.
Figuring out something without being told that will actually spark my motivation is a huge challenge.
Having mountains of bills scares me. Scares me away from some of the things I think I might enjoy. Money scares me away from trying.
Learning how other people think and live is the most interesting thing. Looking and thinking outside the box is something I love. Creative solutions, cheap but beautiful. Quirky but always functional.
Here are some photos from 4K and an engagement photo by Birds of a Feather Photography!
Thanks for reading!
-Soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Cuddle Fish